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We have been fairly busy during the past few weeks with not much time for trips out. Not that the weather has been conducive to those type of activities; we get one quite nice day with sunshine and a bit of warmth and then we revert to cold, windy days with grey skies and some rain too. We are still getting cold nights and looking at the photographs I took this time last year, the flowers and blossom I am seeing now were ones I saw then during the second half of April. The photos I am including in this post have been mainly taken on the few nice days we’ve had this month.
I took my mother to the hospital for her six-week check-up and we were sorry to be told that both her eyes had suffered a bleed or some damage and she would have to return to have injections in both eyes at the same time. We duly returned a few days later and she had the injections. Her eyesight has deteriorated again and for someone who has always enjoyed reading she is finding it so hard not to be able to read with ease any more. She can’t read sub-titles on the TV quickly enough either so has had to give up watching her favourite foreign-language programmes. She has also been told her kidneys are not functioning too well and her GP is having to re-think what medication she should be taking now. She is a brave and sensible woman and is trying to make the best of the situation.
My mother-in-law has now moved into her care-home. The actual move caused her some distress and she is still very unhappy. She had lived in her home for over forty years and she had been very happy there. She knows that she wouldn’t be able to care for herself if she went back home, even with a full care package, as she is almost totally immobile now and has so many other serious medical problems. But that thought doesn’t take much of the sadness and frustration away; it probably adds to it. Richard and his brother spent two full days last week going through her whole house finding the few things she would be able to take with her to the home and then trying to decide what to do with the rest of her belongings. They had four trips to the tip to get rid of things no longer needed and have stored the rest of her possessions in my brother-in-law’s cellar. My poor mother-in-law is sad that she has to sell her house to pay for her care and that she won’t be able to leave anything to her sons when she dies.
My eldest daughter Alice is working hard on the few corrections that have to be made to her thesis before it is printed and bound. She is also rehearsing for her next production with her drama group. Because of her work schedule she won’t be able to visit us until the beginning of June. We haven’t seen her since 31st December – the longest time we have ever gone without seeing each other.
Elinor has taken her Art exam and has finished and handed in all her course-work. She was pleased with the way her exam went. She managed to do all she had wanted to do and didn’t panic at all. Of course, she is now starting to worry that she hasn’t done enough and might not pass her exam! She has an interview on Wednesday with tutors of the next two-year course she has applied to go on. She wants to do Graphic Art and we and her current tutors think that she will do very well.
We are currently applying for assistance for Elinor for next year. This will provide her with one-to-one mentors who will be able to help her if she experiences anxiety at college and it may also be possible to provide her with different equipment and/or furniture which she may need because of her mild scoliosis. She suffers from frequent back pain especially when she has to stand for any length of time.
She has her other exams during the first two weeks in June and is trying to revise for these at the moment. English and Psychology are no problem to her and she is predicted to do well in both these exams but it is Maths as always which is causing her, and us all, such headaches.
Richard is fine and is getting used to the fact that he will need to be on medication for the rest of his life. Join the club, I say! He will be seeing the specialist in a few months time to have his situation reviewed with regard to the lesion on his pituitary gland. Will he or won’t he have to have an operation to have it removed? He is counting down the days until his retirement at the end of August but in the meantime is having to work very hard at work and has been allocated a number of jobs to do at locations all over the country, all to be done in the next couple of months. The firm is getting its money’s worth out of him before he goes. He is naturally saddened about his mother’s situation but knows she is being cared for properly now.
I continue to have a problem with my dry throat. I have seen a different doctor at our local surgery a couple of times and he has prescribed artificial saliva spray and also pastilles that should stimulate saliva production. This all sounds unpleasant but the treatment has improved matters a little. I would have liked to find out why I suddenly got a dry throat in January, which can be very uncomfortable at times, and would also like to know if there is anything I am doing or eating which has brought it on. It would be good to know that I could get rid of it by a change in life-style. I cannot get anyone interested in this and am just supplied with medication to alleviate the symptoms. The GP says I am to tell my Rheumatology specialist about my dry throat when I next go to see her – there is a possible connection between one of the tablets I take, rheumatoid arthritis and dry throats. I asked if the specialist might be able to do anything for me. Oh no, I doubt it, said the GP, she will just find it interesting! The one unfortunate side-effect is I am unable to sing properly any more. I get great pleasure from singing and hoped to be able to re-join a choir when circumstances allowed but if things stay as they are I would be a liability. It saddens me that I have had to give up so many hobbies because of my health and I had hoped that I would be able to sing for a while longer – I hope nevertheless that the medication will eventually enable me to sing again. I have also had a very upset stomach for the past ten days. I have had to continue with driving my daughter and mother to the places they need to be and also had a few appointments of my own to keep, but when I have eventually got back home I have no energy for much housework or any gardening let alone the enthusiasm for reading and blogging. I have felt quite a lot better today and have managed to catch up with commenting on the blogs I follow but if I have said anything over the last couple of weeks that has been a little odd please blame it on the stomach bug (it wasn’t me!).
On May Day Bank Holiday Monday, Rumburgh village had its annual fete and as usual I provided a couple of cakes for the church’s cake stall. Richard pulled a large amount of our rhubarb as well which was also sold on the stall. I spent most of the day before baking the two cakes I took to the fete. We went out in the afternoon to Captain’s Wood to see if the bluebells were flowering. I will put that visit in a separate post.
Last week, while Richard was away in Manchester helping his brother sort out their Mum’s house, Elinor and I went to Minsmere RSPB reserve to walk through the woods. This will also be the subject of another post.
This is the sum total of our activities so far this month. Quite gloomy in places I’m afraid.
Thank-you for visiting!
Val said:
Stunning blossoms and the cake looks delicious. A beautiful unfolding of Spring there it would appear. Just magical. Thank you for sharing .
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clarepooley33 said:
Thank-you so much, Val! The cake was very nice though I say it myself! We had a little bit to taste before we took it to the fete 🙂
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Belezza said:
Your photos are absolutely gorgeous. 🙂
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clarepooley33 said:
Thank-you very much, Belezza. I appreciate your taking the trouble to visit and comment.
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SAN_jeet said:
superb series of fotos
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clarepooley33 said:
Thank-you so much, SAN_jeet!
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Roger Baker-Utah said:
Pretty pretty.
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clarepooley33 said:
Thank-you very much Roger!
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tintinthorburn said:
Hi Clare, so many beautiful photos, it shows that you really enjoy your garden and wildlife. What kind of camera do you use? Must be a very good one, you are a very good photographer. Hope your familys health will be better. It’s summer soon and then everything is easier.
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clarepooley33 said:
Thank-you very much Tintin. I use two cameras neither of which are top of the range cameras but they do seem to take quite good pictures. In fact, most of my photos are taken with my little point-and-shoot Canon Powershot A480 and that doesn’t have a viewfinder! The other camera is also a Canon – a Canon EOS 1100D – and with it we have an 18-55 mm lens and a zoom lens. I would love to get a telephoto lens and a macro lens too!
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quietsolopursuits said:
It must be hard to deal with all the health issues that your family is dealing with at the current time. Having gone through some of the same issues in the past few years, I know that it takes a toll on people. I hope that you are feeling better soon, and that the doctors can find medicines that work better for you without the side effects.
Still, you were able to really capture the beauty of spring in your photos, and the food photos are making me hungry!
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clarepooley33 said:
Thank-you Jerry! You are so kind. I had thought rightly you would understand the problems we are facing at the moment.
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colorpencil2014 said:
well that is a lot of adjustments for both moms! How wonderful to have a caring family close by to help with this process. Also a still more adjustments and accepting for you and Richard. We will keep fingers crossed for the endenvors of both Alice and Elinor!! My youngest is now two years in college and has a tutor one on one meeting at least once a week because of his severe dyslexia and to help organize his work. Also his professors are very understanding and helpfull. All is going very, very well!
Blossoms and cakes are beautiful! xo Johanna
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clarepooley33 said:
Thank-you Johanna! I am so pleased your youngest son is thriving at his college. That must please you and your husband greatly.
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Lavinia Ross said:
My heart goes out to you. Elder care decisions and the adjustments all have to make are not easy!
Your gardens are beautiful, as always. 🙂
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clarepooley33 said:
Thank-you very much Lavinia! It is hard to look after parents, as you well know. They don’t like giving up their independence and also don’t want to give their children any trouble or extra cares. We know that they need the help but we must be as diplomatic about it as we can. Such a difficult thing to do.
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avian101 said:
My dear Clare. I read your post and got aware of your tribulations, I feel saddened because you’re the nicest person in the world! I can do one thing to help you and your family, I will include all in my prayers and ask for some relief and strength. ❤ HJ
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clarepooley33 said:
What a very kind and thoughtful thing to say, dear HJ! I am so grateful for your friendship. ❤
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Aggie said:
I agree with avian101. Wishing that things ease up on all fronts! Thank you for lovely photos.
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clarepooley33 said:
How kind, Aggie and thank-you!
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Julie said:
Clare, thats a lot to worry about, does your mum like audio books, its not the same I know but may be worth trying. Good luck to Elinor and Alice too with their exams. I see from the weather forecast rain due to stop by Thursday!
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clarepooley33 said:
Thank-you Julie! I noticed the weather is due to improve by Thursday too ! Mum has a few audio books and will listen when she is ironing etc. I am sure we will be able to add to these and/or borrow from the library. She has always been a voracious reader and the difficulty is finding books she hasn’t already read! I will pass on your good luck wishes to my daughters!
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Jill Weatherholt said:
As I scrolled through your post, I was in awe by each photo, Clare. Absolutely stunning! I’m sorry to hear about your MIL’s situation. Elder care is so costly.
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clarepooley33 said:
Thank-you Jill! Elder care is indeed very expensive. Poor MIL is unable to stand now and can’t even sit up in bed on her own. The care home provides special hoists and the 24 hour care she needs and this is all so costly. We all know she is in the best possible place and will receive the care and attention she deserves and both her sons would rather see her well looked-after now than benefit after she goes. She is so disappointed though.
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New Hampshire Garden Solutions said:
One of the things that I’ve always wanted to do was visit nursing homes and read to those who couldn’t read for themselves. Surely there must be someone there who would be willing to do the same for your mother. I love to read and think it would be great fun for both parties.
It might seem like a dumb question but are you sure your dry throat isn’t caused by dehydration? A few years ago I went through a terrible time with dryness, headaches, dizzy spells, muscle aches, and all kinds of ailments that were finally attributed to dehydration! I thought I was drinking plenty but I wasn’t, and it was a huge surprise. Since then I’ve paid closer attention and have been fine.
I hope things calm down for you soon and life gives you a break. I imagine when your husband retires he’ll be able to share more of the load. Since sitting around makes me crazy, I’d be more than happy to have something useful to do once I retire. Maybe he’s the same way. I’ll keep my fingers crossed!
Meanwhile at least you have beautiful flowers to admire and delicious food to eat.
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clarepooley33 said:
Thank-you so much Allen. My mother, though very dear to me is an awkward party! She doesn’t accept help very often and it has to be offered very carefully. She has a few audio books that she will listen to now and then but I’m not sure that she is quite ready to be read to. I would love to read to her if she’d accept my help as we have the same taste in books.
I have thought that my condition might be dehydration too. Because of the time I spend in the car I haven’t been drinking quite as much as I should (for obvious reasons!). Also I had thought the air-con in the car was drying my throat too. I try to drink more once I get home in the afternoon but it may not be enough, as you suggest. I am waiting to see how I get on once Elinor finishes her exams in 4 weeks time and I won’t need to drive her about quite so much. Richard has said he will share the load once he retires and that will be such a comfort.
I was amused by you saying you can’t sit around for long as that is just how my husband is. He looks forward to holidays and says how much he is looking forward to sitting and relaxing but after an hour or so he starts fidgeting and sighing and I know we’ll have to find something for him to do pretty quickly!
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New Hampshire Garden Solutions said:
Older folks do get set in their ways I know, and it’s hard to convince them that trying something new is in their best interests. My father was like that too.
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clarepooley33 said:
And it won’t be long before we take their place and cause our children similar problems!
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New Hampshire Garden Solutions said:
I’m going to try not to do that, but I’m sure that I will anyway.
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clarepooley33 said:
I know! Isn’t it annoying!
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New Hampshire Garden Solutions said:
Yes, but if you need help and can’t afford to hire someone, what else can you do? In Japan the elderly are thought very highly of and pampered until death. Maybe I can get a ticket later on.
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clarepooley33 said:
I think we’ll all be joining you! The elderly were respected everywhere until fairly recently. We in the West now find ageing, sickness (especially mental sickness) and death unacceptable so we brush it all under the carpet and hope it goes away – which it won’t do.
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New Hampshire Garden Solutions said:
I had to make sacrifices to help both my father and grandmother when they were elderly and never questioned why. It was just something that had to be done and no real thought went into the decision. You just did it. It was part of life.
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clarepooley33 said:
That is how I see it and how my husband sees it too. However, society in general doesn’t make it easy these days.
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New Hampshire Garden Solutions said:
I agree!
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Gallivanta said:
My mother said I could read to her. So I did. I promptly put her to sleep! Perhaps I need a more interesting reading voice.
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clarepooley33 said:
I should think you have a lovely voice! Your mother relaxed because she enjoyed being read to. When my mother was a girl she used to read to her mother while she sewed or just sat after a busy day. Mum said her mother always went to sleep!
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Gallivanta said:
Well, that is a good way to look at it. After all, when our parents read to us at bedtime it made us feel relaxed and sleepy.
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clarepooley33 said:
Just so!
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tootlepedal said:
I am very sympathetic with regard to not being able to sing. Now that I have discovered how to do it, I would be distraught if it was taken away again. I hope that as well as being ‘interesting’, your throat might be curable. The blossom is lovely.
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clarepooley33 said:
Thank-you! I have always sung and now that I can’t do it properly I feel bereft.
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Cynthia Reyes said:
Clare: I’m sitting here in wonder at all the very many things that are taking place in your family’s life, then realizing: that’s the way life is, isn’t it? First, I feel for your mother-in-law. So sad to have to give up her beloved home.
Good to hear the news about your two girls as they complete these phases of their lives. A major accomplishment for Alice and for Elinor, each in her own way.
And then there’s Richard and you, each dealing with a health matter.
God bless and keep you.
p.s. That cake looks delish!
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clarepooley33 said:
Thank-you Cynthia for your practical and down-to-earth comment. I started the post thinking I would just say what’s been going on here recently but when I’d finished I realised all I’d done was moan! I considered deleting it all but then I’d have to think of something else to say so it stayed. Life is a series of problems to be faced and then got over. I would like it if the problems didn’t all come at the same time though!
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Cynthia Reyes said:
You’re so right: that’s just life and each part brings us challenges to deal with. I was thinking today that we’re all blessed in some way, and challenged in some way. Not all at once, not all the same blessings and challenges. But that’s life. Even people who seem to have a charmed life must have to face challenges of some kind at some point.
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clarepooley33 said:
Yes indeed. We don’t know how much others really suffer – unless they have a big moan like me!
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Cynthia Reyes said:
Hah! You’re a funny girl. You are definitely among the most stoic people I know. I’m always moanin’ about something or the other and I’m so glad you are there with some wise words for me.
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clarepooley33 said:
Ah well… I think we all need to complain about our lot every now and then, as long as we don’t make a habit of it! I think of poor Job in the Bible. Even if he wasn’t a real person and just invented by someone to teach us a lesson in endurance, his creator was someone who knew about true suffering.
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Cynthia Reyes said:
A good way to look at Job. He has always bugged me. I don’t think a person has to go through such devastating suffering to prove their faith or acquire wisdom. But there I go, complaining about something again…. (big smile)
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clarepooley33 said:
I felt the same way about him until someone said to me ‘Of course, you realise that….’ and of course I suddenly did! There is too much suffering. Like Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy.
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Cynthia Reyes said:
Thomas Hardy sure knew how to inflict suffering on his characters. And in high school, I had to read his books and Somerset Maugham’s too! A fate worse than death! I hope you didn’t suffer such literary horrors. (smile)
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clarepooley33 said:
No I didn’t. I read a lot of Shakespeare and plenty of poetry – can’t remember the novels I read. I like most of Hardy’s books and I love his poetry but the later novels are a struggle to get through.
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Cynthia Reyes said:
So if you like Hardy’s books, are you an optimist or a pessimist? Or maybe a masochist to put up with all those characters’ suffering? (haha… you don’t have to answer.)
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clarepooley33 said:
I am an optimist but also a bit of a masochist. I do find the poor suffering characters difficult to deal with but there is so much more in his books that I really, really love. His poetic use of language for one; also his knowledge of the human character is so good. He puts these poor people in the most terrible situations but they are ‘real’ people who react in ways that are true to life. Or at least true to their type. Most of all I love his descriptions of the countryside. He knows the plants, the seasons, the weather. He was a Dorset man and as soon as I start to read one of his books I am there in Dorset with its high downs covered in short grass and tiny flowers, its deep valleys with little villages whose houses are built from pale stone. its lanes with high banks either side so you feel as though you are walking in a roofless tunnel. On hot summer days there is a heaviness in the air that induces a kind of claustrophobia. That’s why I like his books. 😉
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Cynthia Reyes said:
Now your own writing has made me want to re-read his books! I must.
I used to re-read several authors each summer (perched high up in a tree, or in the middle of tall grass in a field). Hardy, Maugham, Cervantes, Moliere, Balzac, Hugo, Austen and others. Hardy drew me into his worlds and made me feel, Maugham made me want to slash my wrists, Cervantes made me want to get a rickety old horse and attack windmills, and Moliere and Balzac made me cry in recognition of human foibles and the hurt we can cause to others by being either pretentious or totally unaware of others’ needs.
Shakespeare was such a staple of high school that I never re-read his works during the summer hols.
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clarepooley33 said:
I am certainly not as well read as you! I love reading but have never yet got around to Balzac, Hugo, Moliere, Cervantes. I have only ever read a few of Maugham’s short stories. I stopped reading for a couple of years when my first husband left me. I just couldn’t read anything. I still have great trouble reading anything that might be sad or traumatic. I have to steel myself to do it and give myself a good talking to!
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Cynthia Reyes said:
I can totally relate to having trouble reading traumatic/sad stuff at a certain point in life.
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clarepooley33 said:
Thought you might.
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chiaradiack said:
Oh that able orange tipped butterfly is a stunning photo! So lovely to visit your blog.
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clarepooley33 said:
Thank-you so much! There seem to be lots of Orange Tips about at the moment.
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Charlotte Hoather said:
Is Eve’s cake sponge with apple?
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clarepooley33 said:
Yes it is! Very easy to make and delicious!
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Charlotte Hoather said:
I must give this one a go.
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Ste J said:
It’s been a strange year weather wise but then again we say that every year such is our nature. Then again life is strange as well with its ups and downs, naturally my thoughts are with you and yours through all the stresses and hopefully things will take a turn for the better soon.
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clarepooley33 said:
Thank-you very much! I think I just needed a big moan! I now feel as though I’ve made a big fuss about nothing and will have to apologise to everyone. We will all cope with whatever happens I know but the thoughts and well wishes of all my friends and acquaintances will definitely help 🙂
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Ste J said:
It’s good to let it out and to know you have support of your WordPress community, it’s great to have worldwide support, makes you sound like a superstar.
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clarepooley33 said:
Yay!!
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Gallivanta said:
Okay, am I odd or what? I didn’t find any of your post tainted with moaning. Just a recording of how things are, interspersed with photos of the beauty that surrounds you.
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clarepooley33 said:
How kind you are! I started off intending to briefly write an up-date on the things that have been going on. I wrote more than I had initially intended and when I read it through it did seem a bit of a complain. Feeling unwell probably had something to do with it!
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Gallivanta said:
Inevitably, but if it is moaning it is very subdued. 😉 Any chance that there is a connection between the dry throat and the stomach trouble?
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clarepooley33 said:
I have no idea! I inject myself once a week with methotrexate which lowers my immune system. This means my rheumatoid arthritis goes into remission but at the same time I am prone to catching all sorts of viruses and once I have them they are very difficult to get rid of. My stomach problems are still with me and I think I ought to see the doctor though I doubt if anything will be done about it!
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Gallivanta said:
Oh dear. Yes, if it is a virus, only time will help.
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Draws Shoots and Leaves said:
Sounds like your life is very full with both good and not so good, such is the way with life. I wish you strength and joy.
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clarepooley33 said:
You are very kind – thank-you!
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Aquileana said:
This is such a wonderful post!
The Bergenia flowers are gorgeous…. Stunning… Truly!~
Thanks for sharing, dear Clare… Love & Best wishes! Aquilieana 😀
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Aquileana said:
PS> Needless to mention the Eve’s Pudding! … ⭐
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clarepooley33 said:
I love Eve’s Pudding and it is so easy to make. Thank-you again 🙂
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clarepooley33 said:
How kind, dear Aquileana! I hope you are well and enjoying your weekend! Much love and best wishes, Clare xx
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Gallivanta said:
Seems to me you have been very busy. Elder care, and the problems thereof, is huge in our family life. My sister does most of the caring for our parents with some help from carers. Where they live, there is little alternative as retirement care homes have huge waiting lists. I am sorry to hear about your dry throat and the restrictions it has put on your singing. It could be medicine related; hormonal, maybe? Would any sort of nasal spray help, I wonder? Don’t give up on it. There will be an answer somewhere. Warm thoughts and encouragement from this side of the world.
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clarepooley33 said:
Thank-you dear Gallivanta! The throat isn’t troubling me as much as it was – the spray and pastilles help and I believe I am getting used to it anyway!
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Gallivanta said:
🙂
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Jane Thorne said:
Hello Clare, your post is a wonderful smorgasbord, just like life, and you write about it so eloquently. I love your photos and am virtually sharing your Eve’s pudding with you…yummy. x Wrapping you in healing for your dry throat and I feel you will sing again, for you are too bright a bird to have your song silenced! You may not be singing right now, but your words carry their own song. Much love flowing to you ❤ Xx
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clarepooley33 said:
How lovely! Thank-you SO much, Jane! I am hoping for the best and with everyone else’s kind thoughts holding me up I must do well! Big hug ❤ xx
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lundygirl said:
I feel very sad for your mother in law – you are doing the best for her but if I was in her shoes i would want to be younger again and back home. I love reading and i feel for your mum too. I saw that someone had recommended audio books and i hope that she would be able to listen to them. I’ve used then in the car and so long as I like the persons voice have enjoyed listening.
It’s ages since you wrote this so I hope that you are 100% now. Could the dry throat be stress related? It must be very uncomfortable. as for your doctor finding it interesting – they can be a funny lot!
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clarepooley33 said:
Thank-you Rachel! Mum-in-law is still very unhappy and can’t get used to being in her care-home. She knows she wouldn’t last a day at home even with carers visiting but that doesn’t make her feel better. My mum will listen to audio books now and then but most are of stories she knows too well already and most are abridged so it isn’t easy finding something she’ll enjoy. She enjoys listening to the radio which she has on most of the day as she likes the sound of voices in the house. Radio 4 has many plays and stories which keep her amused. I’m still not as well as I’d like to be. The dry throat is persisting but I’m getting used to it and the spray helps. It could be stress as could the upset stomach which is continuing unfortunately. You are right about doctors! They all have their own pet theories and won’t be persuaded to think differently. The tension here at home is very great as Elinor has the rest of her GCSEs next week and the week after and she is so panicky and frightened. I will be so glad when they are over!
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lundygirl said:
Sorry not to have replied to this earlier – exams must be half way through now? Been thinking of you with all the stress – hope you are feeling a lot better.
I like the audio books that are read by the author best – I tried to listen to a Miss Read audio book but the actresses voice just got on my nerves.
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clarepooley33 said:
Yes, a lot depends on the voice of the person reading the book I agree. I am feeling much better thank-you. The exams are going well and she has surprised herself at how well she has coped. Only 2 left to do now; one on Monday and one on Friday of next week. Today was the worst day with non-calculator Maths this morning and the 2nd Psychology paper this afternoon. My eldest daughter has come home for the weekend so we are all together again which is lovely.
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